Late Discovery - Frequently Asked Questions

This list of questions is far from comprehensive and is constantly updated. If you
have a question you'd like to see answered, or have a comment on this FAQ,
please click here to send them to LateDiscovery.org


What is a Late Discovery Adoptee?

A Late Discovery Adoptee (LDA) is a person who was adopted as an infant or a
young child, was not told that they were adopted and who discovers their adoptive
status later in life. There are many ways by which LDAs discover their adoptive
status. Many LDAs discover they are adopted when informed by their spouses,
relatives, neighbors and friends. Many accidentally find documents relating to their
adoption. Some are told by one of their adoptive parents. Some LDAs discover they
are adopted when members of their families of origin search and contact them.  

What are the immediate impacts of Late Discovery?

In a study conducted by the Post Adoption Research Center of New South Wales,
Australia, a majority of LDAs responded by saying they were “shocked” when they
discovered.  However, the impacts of Late Discovery after the initial shock vary
greatly, and depend on many factors. Some of these factors are the emotional
health of the LDA at the time of discovery, the quality of the relationship of the LDA
with their adoptive family (both growing up and at the time of their discovery) and
whether the LDA’s parents are living or dead at the time of discovery. Some LDAs
experience a sequence of emotional stages similar to the Five Stages of Grieving
described by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in those mourning the death of a loved one.
Others experience Late Discovery as a traumatic event similar to a hurricane,
tsunami or other disaster, and exhibit symptoms of stress-related disorders. And
some LDAs integrate their newly found information more or less seamlessly into
their lives with no apparent lasting effect.  However, the PARC study  found that
70% of the participants experienced lasting impacts years after their discovery.

What are the longer term impacts of Late Discovery?

Late Discovery Adoptees may have strong lingering feelings of anger and betrayal
associated with their adoptive parents. They may experience symptoms of clinical
depression. Late Discovery can trigger trust issues that strain existing
relationships and make forming new relationships problematic. LDA's experience
a profound disintegration of their identities. Many LDAs devote a significant amount
of time and energy in the years following their discovery working to reintegrate what
they know of their lives with the new information about their origins, the parents
that raised them and  the parents that conceived and birthed them.

Why do the families of Late Discovery Adoptees keep their children’s adoption
a secret?

Most parents of LDAs created the secret of their child’s adoption as a way to cover
their ambivalence, shame and denial about adoption and issues such as infertility.
Often the secret is projected as a means to “protect” the LDA from stigmas of
difference and illegitimacy, but in reality the secret is used to cover the discomfort,
shame and denial of the parents. Although the decision by parents to keep their
child's adoptive status a secret is a private one, we must remember that LDAs
exist on the extreme edge of a continuum of secrecy and denial that is at the core
of traditional adoption practice. Secrecy in adoption has been a matter of law and,
has been institutionalized in practice.

How many Late Discovery Adoptees are there?

No one knows. The limited research available provides estimates of adoptees that
are not aware that they are adopted as low as 1% to as high as 20%. All such
estimates are speculative.